Random 12 AM Thoughts

So I had nothing to do and I don’t feel sleepy at all. I decided to listen to some music while I put together this random post. I’m currently listening to some All Time Low songs because I can relate  to their songs, mainly Somewhere in Neverland,  a lot. At this point in my very short  life, I guess it pretty much puts the past 18 years I’ve been alive in a nutshell.

My graduation ceremony is on Monday. I still can’t believe that I’m done with high school and all the douches there. I’m not too happy though because I’m leaving my closest friend there and this doesn’t feel good at all. But on the bright side, I don’t have to deal with some douchebags who complain about my videos being stupid. I’m better off without their trash talk. If I want to film a video, I’m going to film it and upload it without asking for an opinion.

Other than that, I still have to study for my official exams, and I’m not too excited about that because I just want to start my summer vacation already. I want to go out with friends and stay up all night chatting with new people, discover new places, play some music for people I don’t necessarily know, overall enjoy my vacation before I begin my first year of college. I really don’t want this summer to be a boring and unproductive one like every year.

Let’s talk about more random stuff. The weather is literally going crazy. I don’t know whether to wear a pullover over my t-shirt or just go out without it. Mother Nature is playing us. The temperature two days ago here was 37 degrees Celsius, and I live in a mountain village. THIS IS NOT OKAY.

Damn I just want to get over with all this. Like pronto. On the bright side, I can sleep in and no one would care less because I’m done with regular school schedules for a good 3 months now. At least until I start college. The college I chose is far from home too so that’s a new experience. I’m not leaving Lebanon though, I’m still here. I’m just moving to another district in Lebanon, and stuff.

I think this is my longest blog post at the moment. I usually like to keep it concise. But I really feel like putting some of my thought online to entertain any person out there.

To everyone reading this, I genuinely love you so much it could cut a piece of titanium in half. Peace ❤

– Chris K.

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A Message

Once you feel like you’re done, nothing but denying your past, a thread of thought gets you thinking about what you lost.

You find comfort  alone, in a room full of people, people who see you suffer yet leave you fall. They don’t see but blood dripping from the blades, blades that rip your soul apart. They see your bruises, but don’t cry. It’ll be over, I promise.

Hitting your knuckles hard on the walls that witnessed the not-so-pleasant scenes. You’re dealing with the cruel world, but you’re not alone.

Don’t let them call you a travesty, don’t let the blades serenade you.

Let the sound of madness escape your heart, let the echo of the names reside in their graves. Let your heart lead you, let your eyes teach you that bullies are yet to fall. You won’t escape this though because the good finish last.

Put down your blades, climb up the trench. You deserve to live rather than them.

As you raise your head you will see the light, not your death but the end of the fight. Never give up on your precious life because you’re just as bright as the stars at night.

-Chris K.

Catharsis 

I thought this would be a reflection of my thoughts at the moment. So I’m turning it into a blog post.

Do you ever feel like you just need a break? A break from nothing specific. Simply a break to just clear out for a while and think about nothing.

But woah there champ, do you even know why you want the break? Why do you feel tired, exhausted, fed up ect. ? 

Are you tired of dealing with whatever is happening at home? Are you tired of studying so hard that you end up panicking during your test? Are you tired of dealing with fake people who pretend to be your friends? Are you tired of being ignored and taken for granted?

You’re not. You’re tired because you’re convinced that you are.

You will get up, dust yourself off and continue doing what you started doing, because you are not weak. You are strong. You can deal with this. Take a break for yourself because you need some energy to carry on. Don’t take a break to escape these problems. Take a break to face them and burn them down. Take a break to prove yourself to yourself. 

It might not feel all too well right now, but you will be the best at what you want to do once you finish it. This is your catharsis. Accomplishment of goals is a catharsis. Stay strong, I Love You.

– Chris K.

Bands and my life

Yes, this might be a cliché topic. But bands surely taught me things no teacher can teach.
When you go to school, they teach you how to solve an equation to find X, how to respect rules, how to become “successful”. But you know what they don’t teach you? They don’t teach you how to be happy. They don’t teach you how to make other people happy.
You know the feeling of watching your favorite band perform live? I personally havent been to many concerts, but I can tell you that the ones I went to made me feel happy.
My obsession over Against the Current and All Time Low didn’t just come down from the skies and hit me on the head. The way the band members interact with their fans makes them so awesome, they dont even have to try to make people happy. It just comes naturally with their own personalities.
Can school teach you how to be happy the way you favorite band can? I bet you not.
Don’t be embarrased that you like bands. You are just as happy as that tool who just got an iPhone 6+, maybe even more because your favorite band doesn’t come in different colors.
I know i went off-topic right now, but the point is that bands saved me stress, and they taught me that there is more to life than just being “successful”.

– Chris K.