A new phase.

Welcome back, Chris. It’s been a while since you got off your lazy ass and started writing again. I wanted to share part of what is going on in my mind these days, how my logic is functioning and how I’m putting it to use in my life.

For the few people who don’t already know, I have an unreal love for mathematics. Last year, I was an engineering student. Today  I’m a maths major and I honestly couldn’t be any happier with my new major. My point is, look for what you love and do it, no matter the obstacles. It’s your personal satisfaction that is more important, not anyone else’s.

Another important decision I made a while back is to keep my personal life to myself. It’s hard when you voluntarily dismiss the opportunity to open up to someone, but it pays off quickly. Comming from a very sensitive person, keeping your personal life to yourself is harder than it seems. I’ve made a choice of the people I’d open up to only when I’m about to snap, and it’s one of the best decisions I’ve made so far. It has rendered me more stable around my many social groups and when I’m alone by myself, believe it or not.

While I’m on the topic of keeping things to myself, a very important thing I’m keeping to myself is the music I write. I’ve noticed that once I share some of the music I write, I discover all the flaws of it (the ones that I personally consider flaws) and i start disliking it to the point where I give up on my projects. By not sharing, I started writing more songs, ones that I enjoy more than anthing I’ve written in a long while. Also, whenever I find something I dislike about my songs, I can change them and nobody has to know of m mistakes/bad ideas unless I inform them. My confidence in playing guitar has never been higher.

Well that was a little anecdote from my life the past few months. I hope this helps someone take a right decision.Until the next time!

Stay awesome and Keep Blogging!

– Chris K.

The Sound of Silence.

Sometimes, I feel that I just need a break from the world. I feel that I just want to give up on myself and let myself go.

I still have the darkest of thoughts every now and then. I will not stop them from haunting me anytime soon. They’ve become a part of who I am.

Every once in a while, I grab my guitar and I start strumming. I think to myself “Wow. This might make someone happy.” But then I remember that I’m still not on a headlining tour. I proceed to record whatever I was playing, hoping to get something out of it.

That one time, one of the people I sent one of my recordings to replied with “you just made me the happiest person on earth.” I teared up that night. At that point, the fire I put off was ignited again.

But then again, I still love to be alone. I will remain silent if I’m not at ease. I will stop interacting with any other human if I feel nervous. The only thing I would be focusing on would be my empty mind.

Wind of Change

Prelude:

This post is more of a reflection upon myself more than it is to generalize an idea for everyone. This is purely my own thought and my own reflection that I wanted to share on my blog, Against the Chris K. I also started with this blog post a while ago and I just got the chance to finish it off.


 

Well, I’ve been through a lot in the past few months and I would love to talk about the main thing that occurred to me. In general I have transformed into someone different, someone with different interests than staying up all night to talk to friends. I stopped caring about people’s opinions or their analysis of my actions with them, while some of these people where actually changing in a way that I didn’t even feel any difference while talking to them. It kept the same vibe and the same overall mood between me and many people. Now, enough blabbering. What DID change in me?

Let’s start off with the obvious one; I started my college life. As an only child who is somewhat an introvert, it is kind of tough to kick start a smooth first year in college. I’m coping with it as much as I can but it still isn’t the best I can do. Other than that, coming from a modest family with savings that are just the right amount, tuition fees are a real pain in the ass. I’m not working and paying off my tuition fees on my own, but I can feel my parents’ pain when I tell them that my college posted my payment slip and the deadline is in a few weeks. I’ve become more conscious of my spending of money and I am trying to save as much as I can to just feel like I’m helping my parents out in some way.

Next up; not being sure about my future. Now, I’m pretty sure I won’t use my degree (it’s an engineering degree, call me crazy), but honestly I’m really into engineering because I have a love for Mathematics and physics in general (mostly mathematics). What I REALLY want to do for the rest of my life is play and write music for people to enjoy.  Coming from a very uptight background and a very strict community which believes that ‘if you’re not a doctor, engineer, lawyer or architect, you will be jobless and live a miserable life’, it’s very tough to tell your parents that. I honestly think that this is complete BS because one is miserable only when they’re doing something knowing their efforts are in vain. If you can’t do what you feel most comfortable doing, then what’s the point of it? Okay sure, I love solving differential equations and finding if a series converges or diverges. But I don’t see myself doing that years from now. I see myself hugging fans and playing some good music to people who would sing back to me the lyrics I put from my own heart.

And as stated previously, I’m an introvert. I have an undying fear of rejection and of not fitting in. I’m not good with talking to people I never chilled with before (it sounds confusing but really it’s very simple). I would rather stay aside and not talk to anyone rather than socialize with a random person. I hate crowded places. I’m overall not good with people I don’t know (or barely know). It’s hard for me personally to get out of my comfort zone (although compared to previous years, I’ve improved greatly when it comes socializing). Being in a place where I know absolutely nobody will be a place that I utterly hate. Now, don’t get me wrong. I made friends in college, but we don’t have the exact same schedules so I barely see them. I’m working on bettering my social skills but this will take a long time to get to.

That’s all for now. Stay awesome and Keep Blogging!

-Chris K.

Pet Peeves.

I have to write this post because it’s been bugging me for a while now. The “Things that annoy me” list isn’t all that long, but whatever is on it is seriously annoying to me. Here are some of the things I personally find annoying and sometimes irritating.

Musicians with out-of-tune instruments

This is one of my pet peeves because I, myself, am a musician. Nothing irritates me more than my guitar being off-key or out of tune. Tuning instruments in certain ways was used to simplify and make the instrument easier to play. It also adds discipline to how a musician maintains his/her sound and keeps up with the band/orchestra as a whole. A guitarist can definitely play a killer guitar solo with an unorthodox tuning, but only if the rest of the band tunes the instruments in the same unorthodox manner, which renders then instruments “in tune”. There is no escape from maintaining an instrument to keep it in tune for the longest amount of time.

Hypocrites

Ah, the hypocrites. Don’t you find it amusing when someone tells you not to smoke because it’s bad for you, while holding a lit cigarette in their hand? I used this as a rough example, this is literally all coming off the top of my head. Hypocrites are all over the place in modern society. Modern social networking help the hypocrites keep their identities intact by allowing them to be people they aren’t on the web. I mean sure, you’re against racism, but are you really not racist? Why are you leaving hate comments and rude statements on people’s content solely based on race, gender, sexual orientation, etc.? Well, yeah this isn’t your legal name on that account, but it’s still you willingly posting the comments. Damn it, society. Get your shit together.

Clingy People

Clingy people probably win the “Most Annoying Person/Thing” award. Sure thing, man, I’m here to help and I would ask you for help if i ever needed it, but you really don’t have to follow my every single step. I really appreciate that you care and all, but I really don’t need all of the attention. I can live life without you having to check up on me every 10 minutes, reply to my tweets (every single one of them), comment and like all my Facebook posts, or even you being all up in my personal space when we meet in a public place, and please for the love of all that is good and beautiful in this world, don’t ask me to notice your posts on social media. If i was active after your post, I talked to you shortly after I was active, and didn’t notice the post, it’s probably because the post didn’t really get to me (or I genuinely didn’t notice your post, and for that I am sorry). I am not a new-born baby, I am not a little kid learning how to walk. I can get my stuff done alone perfectly, thanks for the effort.

 

Now these were my worst pet peeves. I hope you enjoyed reading my rant, and as always, Stay Awesome and Keep Blogging!

– Chris K.

From My Notebook – Part (?) – October 11th, 2015

As the title puts it, I’m taking some of the notes I write on a notebook and I’m posting them here. This blog post isn’t the first one I took from this notebook, but it will be the start of a sequence of blog posts that may or may not be related. I’ll add dates to the blog posts so that you know that I did not spontaneously come up with the idea. Honestly, I almost never come up with an idea quickly. Anyways, this was a long introduction to this post. I hope you enjoy it!


October 11th, 2015.

Okay so no I’m in a new life; university, living on my own, and NEW PEN. (If this ends up on my blog, I am such a loser when it comes to ideas)

I felt the need to express myself, although I don’t feel from who I am (or at least who I believe I am).

This notebook turned from a song book to a book of ideas expressed by me (Captain Obvious). I don’t know how to feel about this.

Now the real deal. Have you ever been in a “fight” with someone you really cared for, and now this friendship is just dust particles, sound waves and memories? I’m sure I have. When you try to make  up for things, it gets worse instead of getting better. According to me previous note (and in this case, blog), I said that being a good person might be the only ticket to heaven when you’re in your own hell. I’m still positive about that. Being a good person will never fail you. It will put you back up and tell you that the fight is worth it, struggling will pay off, and it will always end well.

NEVER FORGET THIS.

BE A GOOD PERSON.

-Chris K.

It’ll pay off.

You try to be the worst person you can be until you realize that your worst is simply too good. Not until you have to face reality does being good hit you in the face.

It’s not fair how the good die young (Scorpions reference). It’s not the physical death you know of. Imagine yourself dying just to lay down in flames.”Wow, I’m a crappy person” and you try to escape it but it’s too late to fix anything. Sometimes being too good doesn’t pay off instantly; it’s probably just the ticket to heaven that you need when you’re in your own hell.

Never underestimate your power to be the best person you can be. It has no limit what so ever. Just be the person you want other people to be with you (except if you wouldn’t mind being flushed down the toilet).

“What am I getting from this?” You’re probably not getting more than a sincere “Thank You”, probably a friendly hug too.

Why do this? Because it is the right thing to do. Because you are human just like every other person in this world.

The feeling you give someone when you help them is probably the best feeling in the world.

Do yourself a favor; help others. It’ll pay off. I promise.

Stay awesome and don’t be a Chris, keep blogging!

-Chris K.

The meaning of life

I already said that i was going to make a video about the meaning of life (shameless self-promo in 3… 2… 1…) on my YouTube channel (link at the bottom of the post). Well I guess I’ll write a blog about it instead.

Some definitions of life state that you have to just eat, sleep and work until you are just dead flesh. Other people think that life is all about being successful, i.e. being famous, having a lot of money, being respected (or feared, both are prefered equally). Others think that breathing is life, and performing other activities is just a plus to life.

Well put all these definitions together, you’ll get a somewhat “perfect” life. I mean, you’re rich, famous, respected and you worked for all of it. It should be enough for a life, right (?)

Not really. A very important part of life is missing. Whoever the person is, even if they have the money to buy a star and place it in thier back yard (i know it’s not logical, physically speaking), does it make this person happy ? Not necessarily.

I know, riding a Porsche is definitely more comfy than riding a Kia, using a MacBook pro is smoother than using a typical Windows computer, and even playing a Gibson guitar is more badass than playing a regular strat design from a local music store. But what if this Kia, or this Windows PC and this cheap-ass guitar makes the owner very happy? What if all someone needs is a few strums one the guitar everyday just to let out some energy? Isnt this person doing what makes him  (or her) happy? Yes, this person is.

The whole point of life is to be happy. All the rest will come as a bonus for everything you already have. If you’re doing what makes you happy, you will get to places you will never dream of reaching. Just stay happy and you will do just fine.

Now the self-promo. I make YouTube videos for fun. I sing, play the guitar and i VLog. Check out my channel, i would really appreciate it! 

– Chris K.