Sometimes, I feel that I just need a break from the world. I feel that I just want to give up on myself and let myself go.
I still have the darkest of thoughts every now and then. I will not stop them from haunting me anytime soon. They’ve become a part of who I am.
Every once in a while, I grab my guitar and I start strumming. I think to myself “Wow. This might make someone happy.” But then I remember that I’m still not on a headlining tour. I proceed to record whatever I was playing, hoping to get something out of it.
That one time, one of the people I sent one of my recordings to replied with “you just made me the happiest person on earth.” I teared up that night. At that point, the fire I put off was ignited again.
But then again, I still love to be alone. I will remain silent if I’m not at ease. I will stop interacting with any other human if I feel nervous. The only thing I would be focusing on would be my empty mind.
Once you feel like you’re done, nothing but denying your past, a thread of thought gets you thinking about what you lost.
You find comfort alone, in a room full of people, people who see you suffer yet leave you fall. They don’t see but blood dripping from the blades, blades that rip your soul apart. They see your bruises, but don’t cry. It’ll be over, I promise.
Hitting your knuckles hard on the walls that witnessed the not-so-pleasant scenes. You’re dealing with the cruel world, but you’re not alone.
Don’t let them call you a travesty, don’t let the blades serenade you.
Let the sound of madness escape your heart, let the echo of the names reside in their graves. Let your heart lead you, let your eyes teach you that bullies are yet to fall. You won’t escape this though because the good finish last.
Put down your blades, climb up the trench. You deserve to live rather than them.
As you raise your head you will see the light, not your death but the end of the fight. Never give up on your precious life because you’re just as bright as the stars at night.
I thought this would be a reflection of my thoughts at the moment. So I’m turning it into a blog post.
Do you ever feel like you just need a break? A break from nothing specific. Simply a break to just clear out for a while and think about nothing.
But woah there champ, do you even know why you want the break? Why do you feel tired, exhausted, fed up ect. ?
Are you tired of dealing with whatever is happening at home? Are you tired of studying so hard that you end up panicking during your test? Are you tired of dealing with fake people who pretend to be your friends? Are you tired of being ignored and taken for granted?
You’re not. You’re tired because you’re convinced that you are.
You will get up, dust yourself off and continue doing what you started doing, because you are not weak. You are strong. You can deal with this. Take a break for yourself because you need some energy to carry on. Don’t take a break to escape these problems. Take a break to face them and burn them down. Take a break to prove yourself to yourself.
It might not feel all too well right now, but you will be the best at what you want to do once you finish it. This is your catharsis. Accomplishment of goals is a catharsis. Stay strong, I Love You.
– Chris K.