Sometimes, I feel that I just need a break from the world. I feel that I just want to give up on myself and let myself go.
I still have the darkest of thoughts every now and then. I will not stop them from haunting me anytime soon. They’ve become a part of who I am.
Every once in a while, I grab my guitar and I start strumming. I think to myself “Wow. This might make someone happy.” But then I remember that I’m still not on a headlining tour. I proceed to record whatever I was playing, hoping to get something out of it.
That one time, one of the people I sent one of my recordings to replied with “you just made me the happiest person on earth.” I teared up that night. At that point, the fire I put off was ignited again.
But then again, I still love to be alone. I will remain silent if I’m not at ease. I will stop interacting with any other human if I feel nervous. The only thing I would be focusing on would be my empty mind.